On 6th March 1999, my dad drove me and my little brother to an unknown place. A place where we are not familiar with. Out of curiousity, we asked where are we heading to. My dad answered, “To see my son.” At that point of time, questions popping in my head. But my dad asked us to ask no more questions. As we were afraid of his temper, we kept quiet with hundreds of questions racing in our heads. That was the first time I set my eyes on him. He was barely the size of my index finger. He was the only testerone out of all the newborns. I met his father, mother and even his aunts and grandma. They were all altogether a big happy family with four newborns.
My dad showed me the son. The son that he was saying in the car. A part of me was relieved because it was nothing I had in my head. The son that would take away all the attention in the family or the son that would cause a broken household. He showed me the son that I could love, I could spend my days with, I could share. That point of time, I was attached to the new member of the family. Because he couldn’t open his eyes yet and still very dependable to his mum’s care and milk. Dad say we’ll get to see him again. I had his images in my head for two weeks.
Two weeks later, on a hot Saturday afternoon. My dad brought the whole family along to see the son. The son that will soon to be a part of the family. The son that will soon fight with the both me and my little brother. But I know we’ll love and accepting him with open hands. We took him back. It was hard because he was the only testerone out of the four babies. His mum did not want us to take him away. When we took him back, he was not even as big as my palm. I was holding him the whole time. He looked scared, nervous and a little excited. Perhaps butterflies in his tiny stomach.
When he stepped foot into our house, my dad brought him to the altar and welcomed him to the house and our family. At first, he was sleeping in my parents bedroom until few months later, he was allowed to sleep in the house. He was very attached to me. Eventually, he was sleeping next to me every night.
Eight years have past, until recently three weeks ago, he started losing weight, he was lazy and not as active as he used to. He was even to lazy to run around. He was easily tired, sleeping most of the time next to me. The past three weeks, we brought him to the vet. We’ve changed his food intake (his biscuits), his shampoo plus we fed him with daily medication twice a day.
Today, 16th of April at 4.40pm, he came next to me and i played with him, pat him, kissed him, he went to my lil brother side and puked. Then, he thought it was the usual thing, until he did not stand up. He was just down there. Lying down on the floor. I tried to call him but he did not response. My boyfriend went over and made him puke. We rushed to the vet and I knew Max was gone already. The doc said it’s too late. He tried everything. I could not watch. I went out and cried. Called my mum and text my dad. Ask my boyfriend to let him go in peace. No point trying. I went to the car and cried another few minutes until my brother brought me dog in the box and all the way back home.
The moment I reached home, I did not look at Max. I cannot and too afraid to see him. My boyfriend and I went out to smoke, we have our things to resolve. We went to the mamak to talk and I don’t want to see Max. It’s painful. My dad met us at the mamak. Chatted with my boyfriend and got home. My dad saw Max for the last time and he left. My cousins came and dug a hole in my garden. I wrapped on a white towel with a bone and cuddle him like a baby. Kissed him for the last time. Hold him for the last time. Spoke to him. Thanked him for being there for me, protecting me when I’m asleep, comfort me, loving me, accompanying me for the past eight years.
Mum carried him to his grave. Have a word of prayer by my mum. I went far away, sobbed for the last time. I don’t want Max to see me so sad. Cousins buried him. At 11.15pm, he has rest in peace finally in his grave in our garden.
To Max,
Thanks for being there for me. I love you. I’m sorry for ignoring you once. No dog or human can ever replace your place in my heart. You’ve been seeing me grow. Same as me. I’ll miss your warmth next to my bed. Your bark. Now, the house is much quiet without you. I’ll miss having you following me every where around the house. I’ll miss you accompanying me watching the horror movies at night. I’ll miss having you waiting for me when I’m back home late. I’ll miss how you steal my blankie in the middle of the night. I’ll miss you sniffing on me early in the morning. I’ll miss hearing your barks when the maid comes down from her room. I’ll miss everything about you. I promise if I ever have another dog, I’ll never treat him or her like how I treat you. I’ll remember how you protected me when Jake tried to hit me. I hope you had the best time in your life for the past eight years. Never once we ignore you. You are always a part of our family. Whenever I need you, I’ll see you there. Please do not leave me. I will not forget you. You meant everything to me. I love you, Max. Always and forever. Though you can’t see my till I graduate, I know you will be above happy and proud of me.
Mummy, Jake, Daddy and me will have you in our hearts forever. Until the day I die, I’ll remember you. I love you. I’ll miss you. Thanks for making my eight years happily with you. I’ll sleep alone now. Without you, without your warmth, without you stealing my blankie. I love you forever. I’ll see you in heaven.
