past midnight

He’s back and we spent an hour or so together. I accompanied him for dinner, he didn’t not MENTIONED anything about monthsary, I assumed he forgotten. It’s alright. I won’t hold it against him. I love him, it doesn’t matter. FOR NOW.

so, I slept

alone and he is still away.

I hope he reads this and regrets that he forgot about our seventh-monthsary. I’m not making a big deal about it. I’m just not saying anything because I know what is his reasons are, “work lar, busy.. terforgot. I’m sorry, sayang.” Therefore, I’m not going to mention anything in front of him. We shall see when he is going to notice or perhaps he will remember when he reads my blog sometime.

I’ll keep you guys update. I hope he doesn’t disappoint me. I’m still hoping he remembers and says something before midnight.

seven months

Like I’ve mentioned in earlier post, today is our seventh month together. I know it’s not a big deal to many but everyday means something to me. 12 more hours, I wonder he remembers. He is out of town since morning and I’m not sure what time he’ll be back. Despite my rant about the relationship, I love him dearly. It is just my way of expressing myself. Writing is definitely one of my best.

Happy SEVENth-monthsary, baby!

 A lil out of topic, tomorrow is the Costume Day aka Halloween. I might dress as a nurse to college tomorrow. I’ll think harder. Help anyone?

gabai empat kali

Stay tuned…

rain makes my heart frail

A rainy Sunday with Michael Buble singing, what’s more to ask? I missed him. It just felt funny how times change me, how something that seems so real does not feel that happy anymore. I am not complaining, I’m just feeling vibes that it is not that simple anymore.

He asked me to read on his comments earlier the relationship, I went through all and started crying like a pig. I miss Max. He meant everything to me, I know he will always be there for me. Whenever things do not seem right, I will turn to the garden and look at where he was buried, talk to him a lil while, ponder upon the dirt and untouched grass. I miss my moments with him, I’m happy with Mei Mei but Max was different, he listens to me dearly. Argh, I can’t get my head right.

What is wrong with me? Why am I not feeling enough and contented? I want more of him, I am selfish, I want to keep him in my heart and no one else can own him. I miss him commenting on my blog. I miss him giving comments where he says he is in love with me. I know he does, I just need reaffirmation at times. Perhaps it’s no more lovey dovey moments, less kisses and hugs, we are no more in that stage.

Tuesday is our seventh-monthsary. I wonder if he still remembers. Sleep tight, my love.

morning with dust and hair

Sitting in the cloudy morning, I reminded myself, I have not blogged for days. My hits have been dropping tremendously ugly. My room is a mess, my living room is full of my rubbish, hairs, pillows and textbooks. Last night, I did my laundry TWICE. I am darnly unhygienic, I wonder if he still wants me?

I’ve been smoking a lot lately. At least 10 sticks a day. Blek >.< Less sleep and less facials. I’m  getting lazy. I’ve got fat thighs. Fat fat fat.. my boyfriend calls me ‘Fei Gu’, which means fat aunt! Argh! I should start eating lesser and work out bitch!
I missed my Public Speaking quiz yesterday because I was rushing my Social and Business assignment and silly me thought that the quiz is at 10am. The bloody streamyx la! 3 in the morning, line went crashing. I had to go to steven’s corner and sat there till 8am.

I’ve got Public Speaking persuasive speech due on Monday, I haven’t researched for my topic. I need a topic. I want to do something different. ANTM is still crappy, I need some reality drama. Lonely Boy is really digging S. Little J is a fake, S wannabe.

Did a photoshoot in GABAI again with Stefanie this round. Believe it or not, I went there four times to do shoot. This round, the water was fucking COLD and water level was higher than before. Stefanie cleverly slipped on her arse, freaked my brain. I thought she was going to fall to rock bottom, luckily she got big ass. haha.. nah! I’ve got a photoshoot today and work tonight. Not going to Global Gathering tonight

Update on pics later.

when it feels like empty house

I was browsing through other blog sites. I felt empty reading mine. I thought mine was nonsensical. Everyone has something to write about whereas I left with empty words.

Boo hoo hoo… I’m crap.

Anyways, I like S better than B in Gossip Girl. I’m catching Gossip Girl, Grey’s Anatomy Season 4 and ANTM Cycle 9 all at the same time. I love TV series. I am addicted to them. No spoilers but ANTM Cycle 9 has not showed much drama. No bitches. Everyone seems to be nice and friendly.

I wish I was all nice and friendly.

Next topic, I’m broke. I need a job. Yes, it’s end of my semester break-one week holiday and I’ve not cleaned my room yet. Still procrastinating. I’m not excited about tomorrow’s class. Western Philosophy… is killing me softly. I’ve got S&B assignment due on Friday. I hate assignments, I hate finals. I want holidays. I need a break.

I think I’m fat. Though I’ve lost weight and my body measurements have shrunk down, my thighs are as huge as elephants. My boyfriend loves wobbling my fat thigh. I need to start exercising.

Oh, I bumped into one of my old good bitch girlfriend while I had dim sum. Remind me that I’ve lost a lot of friends lately because of him. I’ve become one of those who ignore their friends once they’re in relationship. I’m bad at maintaining good friendship. I miss you, Vivien Kong. You are the bestest biatccccccccch ever!

star that smells

Today is a wonderful day! I smell like him right now. The D&G perfume I got him smells like a STAR! I love today. I felt so in love again. Argh.. I feel so infatuated now. Like a small girl who got her first kiss today. I love him…

time will tell

I don’t feel like blogging anymore. There are no more reasons why I should continue blogging. I kept searching deep within my heart or at least into my brain cells, why do I blog? I can’t seem to give a good reason to myself.

My life is dull. Relationship with boyfriend getting stale. I still love him, I just don’t feel that inspired or excited anymore. I need a life.  I need something new. I need a change.

2 more months and it’s 2008. Time definitely fly fast this year. This year, I’ve not achieved anything yet. I hope to do so by end of the year. At least something.

I’m feeling broke. Really broke. I’ve stopped working since I’m back from Bali. I need money back. Should I party at Recharge or watch Chicago? I’m torn apart. I’m unable to decide lately. What’s wrong?

those two bitches!

Finally, I managed to finish the project all by myself and handed it on time. I hate those BITCHES! Please tell me you guys do read my blog. You two do not even thank me for doing it all weekend and giving me that fucked up faces when I tell you about your mistakes on the work you gave me. You’re in your first year university, no more Form 6. You have to use either the MLA or APA referencing format, not just putting the website as you like and it’s written on the course outline. Next time, read the assignment sheet before you delegate the job. Don’t fucking blame me for not telling you about using the international site because you guys canceled the meetings twice on me and we are not able to meet up to discuss about the project. If you guys don’t ask, I assume you know. Plus, you guys look smart. Sadly, you’re not. I was wrong to judge a book by its cover. Two actually. You guys can gang up on me and give a bad mark for the Peer-to-Peer evaluation all you want but only you know what you guys have done and the next time, your group mates would not be as nice as me. You’ll thank me for telling you later on. You guys are bitches. I had enough of bitching bout you. I hate you two.

Thanks to others for the moral support! MOST of all, a huge THANKS to my mum for helping me researching and printing the project. You’re my supermom! Did I mention, while she went to Marie France Bodyline and Slimming Sanctuary to pretend to be a potential client, she signed up for slimming programme from Slimming Sanctuary. Mummy’s cute!